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Hey everyone, so this is my new page! I'm learning how to update it on my own so forgive me for any mistakes that may occur!
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| Here is a write up I just got on Live Comedy L.A.!
Live Comedy L.A.
Sam Tripoli Destroys at Ballgame’s 3rd Anniversary Show
Posted: 06 May 2009 12:19 PM PDT
Matty “Ballgame” Balaker has been putting on Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge for 3 years now. That’s a pretty incredible number. There are very few live comedy shows in Los Angeles that last that amount of time. The success of the show stems from Matt’s unwaivering passion for stand-up comedy, his professionalism, and his understanding that the audience comes first. The show has been so successful that Red Rock as completely transformed it’s upstairs lounge from grandma’s attic to a borderline swanktasic lounge.
Over the past 3 years, I would venture to say I have seen 90% of the shows. As a regular dude with a job and responsibilities, it’s an easy way for me to get my comedy fix. It’s free, there’s no drink min., parking is easy, food is good if I want it, and the comedians are the best in the city. Plus I’m out the door by 10pm.
In those 3 years, I have seen great sets from the likes of Alonzo Bodden, Greg Fitzsimmons, Bert Kreischer, Ryan Sickler, Tom Segura, Bret Ernst and many others. But I think most show regulars would agree that the definitive performance at Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge was Joe Rogan’s 1 hour and 15 minute set in 2007. It was probably the funniest stand-up routine I have ever seen live.
Last night, I believe Sam Tripoli delivered the best set Ballgame’s Laugh Lounge has seen since Rogan. He brought is A+ game and was spitting heat from the moment he grabbed the mic. He unloaded on the the eclectic Asian hair dresser in the front row and tried to get her in a threesome with a blonde at the end of the row. He even hit swine flu with the line of the night, “One Mexican dude fucks a pig and we are all screwed. Meanwhile, chicks have been blowing donkeys down there for years, and everything has been fine. What’s going on?!”. The guy was on fire…moving from off the cuff audience work to written material with little detection.
Tripoli is a unique talent in the sense that he should not be contained. I’m sure network execs try to fit him into a bottle…but in order to get his full potential…they just need to let that guy loose.
The rest of the line-up was solid as well, but I have to say the night belonged to the Crime Fighter, well done sir…well done.
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My show "Naughty" is LA Weekly's Comedy Pick of the Week:
Here's the link: http://www.laweekly.com/events/sam-tripolis-naughty-show-506509/
SAM TRIPOLI'S NAUGHTY SHOW
DATE/TIME:THU., APRIL 9, 10:00PM
Price: $14
SAM TRIPOLI'S NAUGHTY SHOW: HOW LOW CAN YOU BROW?
By Libby Molyneaux
SAM TRIPOLI'S NAUGHTY SHOW: HOW LOW CAN YOU BROW?
Sam Tripoli was a finalist on a Howard Stern comedy contest. In his act, he makes fun of a disabled stripper and does Hulk Hogan jokes. He even asked Latina women if they enjoy being Mexican. Yes, he's low-brow. --Libby Molyneaux
L.A. WEEKLY: Tripoli? What does it mean?
When translated to English it means sexy, or, as my grandmother use to say, "That dirty man heat!"
Who are some other funny Armenians?
There are a few of us. Myself, Ara Basil, John Hoogasian and the Kardashians. There's also a guy named Sam the Armenian Comedian (different Armenian Sam) but we don't really claim him, he's kind of like the Bryant Gumble of Glendale. All I have to say is thank God for System of a Down!
So what's this Naughty Show all about?
I really wanted to put a show together that just goes for the jugular and causes total chaos! Honestly, I think comedy has become too safe and predictable and I want to change that. The Naughty Show has everything from adult-film stars, such as Penny Flame and Belladonna, to amazing standup comics and some of the most insane audience-participation segments ever.
You got the crap beaten out of you by professional fighter Rampage -- was that a good idea?
Hell, yeah. I mean, how many people can say they fought the Light Heavyweight Champion of the World? Plus I learned two valuable things about myself that day. First, I'm not a pro athlete. Second and most important, I wouldn't last long in prison!
Planning any more stunts like that?
In this economy, without a doubt. If some guy with a camera said, "Hey, dude, I'll give you a couple grand if you run over there and kickbox that tranny hooker!" I would be like, "Give me the cash, tell my mother I love her and let's rock and roll!"
Does your act have a "Margaritaville" -- a bit that your fans demand you do?
Yeah, its a bit I call "A Salute to America!" and I created it during my USO Tour in Afghanistan. Basically, at the end of my performance, I show my support for our troops by motorboating women's boobs while an audience member sings the "Star Spangled Banner"! GOD BLESS AMERICA!
If you had your own reality show à la Kathy Griffin, what would be some of the highlights of your average day?
It would start with me updating all my social-networking pages on sites like Facebook, Myspace and Adultfriendfinder.com. Then I would attempt to O.D. on caffeine, coffee and Red Bulls! Because there's nothing like doing nothing really fast! Then I look at my phone to see who has called, and if I don't owe them money or I'm pretty sure I couldn't have gotten them pregnant I call them back and make up some shit about how awesome my career is going. I think my reality show would fit nicely on the Public Access channel, right after the show that stars the homeless lady in a wheelchair who gets up and dances. Total hour of power, Tripoli and wheels, kiss my ass 30 Rock and The Office !
You are hilarious with man-on-the-street interviews. You actually asked two Latina women how they enjoy being Mexican. Do you ever get into trouble for comments like that?
Nah, it's just comedy, seriously, they're just jokes. Plus I really got nothing but love for everyone, except for when I'm driving and stuck in traffic. Trust me, you could put the Dalai Lama on the 405 and after he's gone 10 feet in an hour I guarantee you he'd start flipping everyone off! I don't think that if you make fun of someone that means you hate them; it's just observations. Plus, I love Mexican girls, they are sexy, passionate women and they lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve to bone in the car.
If you could never leave one block in L.A., where would it be?
I love Hollywood Blvd. because it's like a human safari. I mean where else could you take a picture with superman who has man boobs! Plus they've got pizza slices the size of boat sails and that makes me tingle in my happy places!
What do you do all day when you're on the road?
Wish I was home!
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Attention Rock Stars: Kiss My Ass!
Yeah that’s right; I said kiss my ass rock stars! If I hear another “rock star” bitching about the Jonas Brothers aren’t rock-n-roll I’m going to go nuts. No shit the Jonas Brothers aren’t rock and roll, who said they were? They’re 15-years-old and they got the corporate machine behind them. Calling the Jonas Brothers rock stars is like calling Ronald McDonald the Burger King!
The boy band of brothers are just another bullshit product created to make little girls go gaga and spend all their parents’ money. I know this, they know this, and everyone should know this because we’ve all seen this story before. How many times do we see boy bands get huge then crash and burn because they’re fan base grows up and realizes prefer sex, drugs and black guys! The Jonas Brothers will eventually become like the little piggies: this little piggy came out of the closet that he was never really in, and this little piggy starred on the tenth season of the VH1’s “Celebrity Rehab,” and this little piggy found Jesus and raged a holy war against the evils of rock-n-roll.
Musicians are lucky that they only have to worry about the likes of the Jonas Brothers. Try being a comedian, where most of the big acts now are pretty much boy band comics just trying to make the girls go crazy. Not a week goes by that I don’t work with the comedy equivalent of a wedding singer disgracing my stage with song parities, dancing, and basically committing war crimes against comedy! I have no problems with comics trying to make a buck or Comedy Clubs trying to butts in the seats. I’ve been on the road and saw what happened when a comic didn’t draw. Nobodies really happy about it, not the comic, the staff or the twenty people in the crowd, so I completely understand the business side of Showbiz. But It’s just the fact that I’m surrounded by ventriloquists, banjo players, and jukebox comics who crank out comedy’s greatest hits; and unlike the Jonas Brothers, who are at least straightforward about their blandness, these guys act like they’re comedy gods! They talk about how they’ve been influenced by Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison and claim to worship George Carlin. Really, you worship George Carlin? That’s amazing because your act couldn’t possibly be more opposite of his. Getting laughs doesn’t mean you’re a good comic, it just means you’ve learned a couple of paradigms that register in people’s thick skulls!
I think George Carlin would be offended by some of the shit these people say on stage and I can only hope on the day of Reckoning when the Dead walk among us that George Carlin comes back and fucks some of the “SuperFans” in their asses!
There’s a crazy rule in comedy called “6 to 60”, basically comics act should entertain six to 60 year olds. Its fucking nuts, I actually had someone tell me that this one comic was they’re favorite because that comedian could make old people laugh and they felt comfortable bringing they’re parents to the show. Really? When did whether you could bring your parent to a show become the criteria in which entertainers are judged by? So would you bring your parents to go see Eminem, Metallica, or Quentin Tarantino Movie? No, so they aren’t entertainers or should they sent to artistic purgatory where they get the shit end of the stick on gigs and opportunity? Again, I don’t have a problem with people making money. But, where’s the adrenaline rush of doing warm fuzzy happy shinny object comedy? What happen to the days when people came to comedy show to see shit they could experience in there office or at home. It just seem like there was a time when certain comic rolled into town it was like the circus had arrived, fun and crazy times! I really miss the whole outlaw comedy experience. I love causing comedy chaos during my shows. When I grab the mic, I have one rule and that’s I go as hard as possible so that the crowd leaves with a definite opinion of me, good or bad. Love me or hate me it doesn’t matter to me I just want you to not forget me! (Actually I prefer you love me but sometimes that’s just not possible so I have to go for maximum damage!)
What was my point? Oh yeah, leave the Jonas Brothers alone because they’re just kids and they aren’t hurting anyone!
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Tripoli Vs Heckler
Hey everyone, I thought you might enjoy hearing a great stand up comedy story from the road. It involves myself and one of my good friend and one of my favorite comics Joe Rogan. Basically I'm known for killing heckler but this could be one of the greatest heckler kills EVER! Because it was done over the phone and across two states, that's right, this chick got pimp slapped in Phoenix Arizona from Hollywood California! This is an email I got from a friend that describes what happen!
Hey Sam,
I'm headed down to Az this weekend and Chilly Bombers is one of my stops. Erik sent me this on Sunday. When I was done reading it my fist was clinched in the air like a Spartan soldier. Way to go Sam. You have a few guys out here that look up to you and it's because of cool shit like this.
Enjoy,
Bruner
...Sounds good. We just had a couple of big shots here from LA, one of which you might know... Paul Hughes? He has a show at the Palms in Vegas, or he did or something.
The other guy is named Sam Tripoli, hilarious. Normally I wouldn't write this much, but I have to tell you what happened.
Tripoli is on stage, tells a joke ... some woman from the crowd calls him out and says that he stole Joe Rogan's joke...
Tripoli says bull shit, but she is adamant....
He says, okay, if I can prove it to you beyond a shadow of a doubt you have to show your tits to the bar..... she says your on because you stole the joke and there is no way you can prove you didn't ...
Tripoli calls Joe Rogan on the phone .... he doesn't answer..
The girl says.... see, I told everyone you were a fucking thief comic ....
Tripoli says.. hey, I just called the guy, he didn't answer, it's a Friday night... he probably has a life ...
She says.. look, don't get pissed I just call them like I see them ... and your a fucking joke thief...
Tripoli says... look lady, I just called the guy he's not there ....
She says ... oh of course he's not there ...
THEN JOE ROGAN CALLS BACK and Tripoli puts him on speaker phone with the mic up to his phone .... and it is CLEAR AS DAY THAT IT'S him ON THE PHONE >>> Who of course confirms that Tripoli did NOT steal his joke....
Chilly Bombers went NUTS ....
She never showed her tits but the place blew apart...
Yeah she never showed her tits but from what I was told she got a lot shit from people at the bar and basically got ran out of the there. I went on to have a great set and a killer time that night, TO THE VICTOR GOES THE SPOILs! So that's the story and I hope you enjoyed. I want to thank Rogan for being cool enough to call back and set the record straight and Eric Miller for spreading the Legend of Sammy T!
HOLLA AT YOUR BOY!
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Tripoli's Baby Mamma
I'm proud to announce that in the great tradition, or latest fad, of the Hollywood rich and famous I've decided to adopt a child! Unfortunately I couldn't find a 3rd world country that would allow me to take home one of those cute little toddlers you see on TV. So I tried to adopt an American kid, you know made in U.S.A. and all the patriotic stuff, but no one here would cough up a kid either.
I was about to give up on my dream of fatherhood when destiny decided to dance her little dirty dance! It happened one night when I was partying with one of my favorite people in the world – Jayson Thibault. And it was a very special party because Jayson's mom was in town and was down to get her drink on. That's when the idea hit me: why not hook up with Jayson's mom and then adopt my friend?!? How perfect would it be to be my best friend's step dad!
Knowing Jayson's mom is a cougar and probably dying to get shagged I decided to make my move! Within minutes my tongue was shoved down Thibault mom's throat and I was whispering sweet nothings to her like: "Have you ever boned in your kid's bed?" and "You've got your tubes tied, right? Because I hate condoms!"
Just like that I had her purring like a kitten because she was completely shit faced! Of course Jayson got pissed when he caught us going at it in his room.
Jayson yelled: "Dude did you just bang my mom?
Me: "Jayson...... Yeah pretty much!"
Jayson: "Dude! That's not cool, that's my mom!"
Me: "Jayson, I'm going to marry your mom and then I promise to adopt you! I just want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your father even though you never knew your dad!"
Jayson: "Dude, you're not adopting me!"
Me: "You're mother and I had a discussion about it right before she past out naked. I just wanted to let you know that there are two people in this world who really love and care about you!"
Jayson: "You're an asshole!"
Me: "Hey, that's not how a son of mine talks to his elders!"
Jayson: "Dude, I'm two months older than you!"
Me: "Hey! Watch your mouth! Back in my day, kids didn't get lippy their parents!"
Jayson: "We went to school together Dickhead!"
Me: "That's it! Get to your room right now before I get the belt out!"
It was a little rough at first, you know, because raising a child isn't easy even if he's not a child. Sometimes I just want to be his friend but then I realize that a kid doesn't need a friend but needs a father! I wish there was a manuel on how to deal with certian situations, like the time I caught him smoking weed.
Me: "What's going on here?"
Jayson: "Ahhhhhh, what does it look like? I'm getting high fool!
Me: "Give me that......Listen, I know what it's like to want to experiment with drugs. I tried to smoke weed when I was your age."
Jayson: I know you used to smoke weed when you were my age because I bought this weed off of you last week!"
Me: "Not in my house! No son of mine is getting high off the marijuana. If you're lucky I won't tell your mother about this. Even though I really can't right now because she's blacked out again!"
I love my drunken wife and my 33-year-old kid with all my heart! We're going to be one dysfunctional family but then again what family isn't!
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America's Next Top Model
Have you ever seen those late night commercials advertising some magical number you can call to talk to hot lonely models in your area? Really, hot chicks are dying to talk to me? Why is my bullshit alarm screaming right now? First off, hot models don't want to talk to me at the bar, why would they want to talk to me over the phone? And if they love talking on the phone so much, why do they keep giving me fake numbers? Why do women do that, why can't they just tell me to fuck off and die. No! Instead they want to give me some crap number that they always give out. So I end up calling some poor guy who has to break the bad news to me, "Nope wrong number douche bag!" But this must be a magic number with magic super models who love talking to total strangers for $1.99 a minute. Yeah $1.99, what kind of bang can you get for your two bucks? Have you ever tried to talk to a super model? Here's how the phone conversation would probably go.
Me: So, ummm, so you're like a super model or something?
Supermodel: ah, what?
Me: You're a supermodel right? You model for a living?
Supermodel: Yeah…….
Me: Cool. That's got to be a sweet job.
Supermodel: What….. Could you hold one second I have another call coming in…..
Me: What I'm paying…..
Clicks over (3 minutes go by and I'm still on hold) Clicks back
Supermodel: Ah, hello?
Me: Yeah, hey it's me? What's up?
Supermodel: Nothing……
Me: Cool, so what do you do when you're not……
Supermodel: Can you get some coke?
Me: Ah…….. Coke….I really don't do that but……
Supermodel: That sucks…. Oh my god is that Criss Angel over there….
Me: Over where?
Supermodel: I'll be right back…..
Me: You're leaving me but I'm paying 1.99...
Clicks over (ten minutes passes) Clicks back
Supermodel: I can't believe I totally just blew Wilmer Valderrama in V.I.P room!
Me: What…..you just blew the guy from YO Mamma on MTV?
Supermodel: Ah… who is this?
Me: I'm the guy you just put on hold?
Supermodel: Where's Sarah?
Me: Who's Sarah?
Supermodel: I have to find my friend Sarah.
Me: She's probably in the bathroom getting gang banged by Big and Rob.
Supermodel: You're an asshole!
Me: I have coke!
Supermodel: Really?
Me: No but………
Supermodel: Fuck off
Hang up
And all is right in the universe! I've learned a couple things in my life and one of them is anyone worth talking to usually doesn't answer their phone.
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